How Dumb can Smart Espresso be?

Apr 23, 2012



Oh dear! Another route for an old trade ‘has been’ to make some retirement cash has appeared this week

‘Smart Coffee’ the fabulous new App for you dear reader to down load and learn all you need to about coffee

The theory is admirable

The practice is actually not bad

The only problem is the victor Kiam style promises that this App will change you life!

This ‘simple $2.99 App’ will enable you to ‘think and drink coffee like a coffee professional’ no less… and in record time…forget all of those wasted and unnecessary years working your way up the greasy pole, apprenticeships and trial and error and all that kinda frustrating stuff!

Smart Coffee will prevent consumers from being ’immobilized’…what this quite means I am not sure, but let’s please hope it doesn’t happen at the point of paying for the large espresso they have just ordered(!)

Smart Coffee will deliver the ‘keys to the kingdom’!! Making consumers ‘wiser, quicker, smarter’ and will enable them to find their perfect cup of coffee and never waste money again…blah blah…perhaps hair regeneration and a free six pack could have been thrown in too??

Basically, there ain’t nothing it won’t do if you are remotely interested in coffee… other than perhaps advise you if the coffee is fresh or not…or has been high yield or conduction espresso roasted… water or air quenched…. used larger or smaller screen size beans… lower or higher defect rates… you know all the other basics that will, ah yes of course, appear with Smart Coffee 2 …this time priced at $4.99!!

Now then I am an old git of a cynic… this is a good idea…but let’s just keep our feet on the ground… buy a basic industry book and read all about this and much more …

Taking photos of your latte and comparing notes on your smart phone of other recent purchases now seem more important than trying to relax and enjoy your coffee break!

Remember perfetto espresso… special, quiet reflective moments…time to chill and contemplate…or perhaps even socially interact if you read my earlier blog…anything but adding another layer of technological confusion please! Keep it real with ESE espresso – Keep it simple with easy serve hard pods !

This article was written by Guru (Andy Grelak) who writes for, the UK’s leading online retailer of 44mm E.S.E espresso coffee pods